My Spiritual Journey to KL (something that I miss)

Look around yourself and what can you see? Close your eyes and what can you feel? Take a deep breath and delve in your life, your nature and your surrounding and discover what you’ve been missing all this while.

There are so many questions that I must answer:

• Who am I?
• Where am I heading?
• What’s my purpose of living?
• Do you know that "Islam should not revolve around your life; however, your life should revolve around Islam"?
  
  

I ponder and try to answer these questions with my limited ability but I fail to give accurate and definite answers. Never that I thought simple questions like these will become conundrums. Truth to be told, I always put myself on the blind side. I exert such force so that I could be deaf to the truth. I always lie to myself that life is not only about obligation. It’s about how to outsmart our main purpose of living. Is that true? I wonder? Have I been foolish? Do you think I have amnesia? Do you still remember the oath that we made when we’re still in the womb? How we promised to oblige Allah? How we promised to worship nothing but Allah? How we said “I bear witness that there’s no God accept Allah and Prophet Mohammed is the messenger of Allah.” Where have all these things disappeared? I am too absorbed of temporary happiness. I’m scared. I am terrified. I am estranged and bewildered. Why am I acting this way?

I ask myself the same question over and over again. “What’s the purpose of my life?”. I reckon that there's nothing more important than to become a top scorer. How about to leave a great legacy with your name engraves on great books or scriptures? To become someone who has a great influence to the world? To live and die a happy life? Is that all that I could think of? My heart thumps and races to infinity. These motives are so dry and meaningless. Cliché. Honestly, the one week pilgrimage to KL really had thought me something. It had expanded my life to a bigger radius and to the reality of life. The journey helped to expand my horizon. Life is not only about having fun and racing for temporary goals.

(watch and reflect) there are so many proofs around us. why are we so blind?

Subhanallah. I praise to God because the journey had helped to open my eyes widely and clearly! The truth is in front of me all this time. Meeting with the seniors coming from the UK and the Eire really left me with a great impact. Surely many of you wonder what had gotten into me these few days. Turning into a sudden hermit or a cult zealot? The sisters and the brothers (this is how I address the seniors) did nothing to me. However, I was amazed by them. They surely have their own raison d’être. They do not simply pray five times a day and reciting the Koran, they prostrate themselves and yet they still have fun and laugh till tears like us. The sisters cover themselves with veils or hijabs but those stuff do not obstruct them from performing their daily tasks. In short, they lead a happy life through Islam. What embarrassed me the most was that all of them are mostly future doctors, future pharmacists and future engineers; the professions that will demand them to spend more times with books and commitments; yet these are nothing to them. They still put Allah above anything and see how successful they are. Some even come from RCSI, Cambridge University and even Oxford University. Who am I to them? But they treated me like one of them, like sisters and remember how Islam teaches us that every muslims are related to one another? Their lips never fail to cast smiles. Just think for sometimes. They are successful in their studies and even in the spiritual world while I am just a TESL student who always makes a ruckus over my failures and tests in life. I am ashamed of myself.

my first experience of making curry-puff. yeahaaa! I love JOM!

Allah is the all-knowing. He is the greatest planner. I met a sister from Warwick University. I am not trying to patronize you. Not at all. It’s just that I want to highlight a good example. We just know each other for couples of days. This sister had helped me a lot and even volunteered herself to help my friends and I once we reach Warwick (accommodation and treat us sushi at a halal sushi restaurant in Birmigham). She offered a free tour around Coventry (pro bono). I asked her what made her so determined to help us and her answer was very profound. “I want to help everyone as long as my body permit me to. I want to help because who knows that someday my children might face difficulties? Insya-Allah during that time, Allah will help them. I just want to help everyone because that’ll make my soul feel calm. I am happy when everyone is happy.” She is generous and that is how I should be. The truth was initially, I joined the JOM (Journey of a Muslim) programme by the seniors with negative and despicable thought. I told myself that I had made a great mistake. These people will definitely brainwash and preach me so that I'll be a staunch muslim. Or force me to wear the long hijabs. Or maybe will recruit me into joining their usrah but nothing like that had happened. Nothing at all!

JOM and WOW (Wonderful Overseas Weekend)

the sister gave me an O2 sim card (real stuff from the UK) and I still keep the cover (still intact!). told you the sisters are nice and generous ^^

our lunch at the Manhattan Fish Market. superbly lip-smacking dish. heaven!

burpp! Alhamdulillah for the delicious food

we're still in Malaysia...

I fear to say this but truly this one week journey really had elated me with many discoveries and love to Allah. I had fun and peace of mind. I cracked jokes that tickled my bones. I went to many places including the KLCC. I bought novels (Terry Pratchett's Monstrous Regiment and Dan Brown's The Lost Symbol in paperback!), went to Petrosains (and met a talking T-Rex that could sing!!! I love this guy),  feast the scrumptious mouth-watering Manhattan Fish Market’s cuisine, I produced sweat for the brisk walk, catching LRT and commuted like the people of KL (don't mention how silly we were when we took the wrong train, how we sprinted and dashed; moving the opposite stream of people of KL like we were in some kind of a race and when we found ourselves locked behind the iron bars of Sogo's Door). I met awesome people. Life is full of colours. Use our “akal” to think. Allah created us of different races and colours. Meet them and mingle with them. Talk with them and learn from them. Something that I wish to share is that (exclusively for the muslims) “I don’t belong to any sect. I don’t care whether I’m a Shiite or a Sunni or a Sufi. What’s important is that I am a muslim. We’re brothers and sisters; bonded by Islam. And to me the Christians, the Jews, the Hindus and the Buddhists are my brothers and sisters too; bonded by humanity”. May Allah bless us and purify our souls. Insya-Allah.