Room

In this sweltering summer heat I can barely see anything. Mum is still pacing anxiously like she is thinking of something but could not decide whether what she has in mind was good or not. I run my fingers up and down the scale that Mum had helped me to draw.

‘Mum! Mum! I’ve grown 2 centimetres taller than last year! Mum!’

Mum is still in her own very empty thought. I can see that she’s practically Gone. Tomorrow, I am going to turn five. That means I will be older than a day before and I can have 5 little candles on my birthday Cake. I told Mum yesterday that I want a chocolate cupcake with 5 candles sticking on it as the Sunday Treat. I want to keep my birthday as a secret. So Mum and I get our own version of birthday candles. Old Nick should not discover my exact age. That’s what my Mum always tells me and she never explains why. Mum purposely leaves the Television on before swallowing her Pills. It’s like a habit that she wants me to learn. Television means Pills. Pills mean Gone. I can’t deny that it doesn’t take me years to understand her intention.

Dora is on the television with her backpack. I always love the way Dora interacts with me. She will always ask me to point out the next place that she is required to go next in her quest. I will scream and point the place exaggeratedly so that Dora will never miss the place. Then as Swiping Swiper pops into the screen to steal Dora’s back pack, I will tell Dora of what’s going to happen but no matter how hard and how impossible I do, Dora will always get her backpack snatched. Mum is still silently sleeping and I am feeling slightly hungry. My Stomach growls and I fight my temptation for food. I am strong Jack. Nothing can stop me.

The door then clicks open and light enters our Room. Old Nick is entering our Room. I should have barricaded the door like what I saw on the television. Maybe I should obstruct the door with chairs or maybe push the table to the door so that Old Nick needs to use his strength to enter the room. I duck for cover like what the police do in CSI and scurries into the Wardrobe. I clench my teeth and starting to count them. The first time I get 29 then I recount and I get 30. I hear Mum finally gets into her senses and she moans.

‘Where is the thing?’

‘The boy has a name. It’s Jack.’

‘Yeah, whatever. Here I got the boy a present. It’s the best that I can get with my current salary.’

Present? For me? Let me see it. Mum glares at me as I peek through the opening of the wardrobe to see what Old Nick has got for me. Old Nick sees what is happening and he walks towards me. I creep deeper into the wardrobe. He can’t see me. I am invisible. I count my teeth faster. I almost want to cry and my hands tremble as I continue counting my teeth.

‘Don’t you dare to touch him. He’s my son.’

‘He’s my son too. Do you me to tell him how you get him in the first place?’

‘Damn you! Damn you!’

Then there’s silent again and I hear the Bed creaks. 345 times this time. I am still hungry and I feel cold. It is the longest night ever. I count my teeth again and this time I get it right.

‘Happy birthday, my brave Jack!’

I know Mum will never forget about my birthday. She makes a cake with the 5 candles that we made together. I blow them at once and wish that I will always be together with Mum. Mum hugs and pecks me lovingly on my both cheeks. I like her smell. She says that I am the best looking boy that she ever met. We have our breakfast with Snake and Plant is beaming healthily on the sink. I count my breakfast cereal. Today I can have as much as I want not like usual when I can only have 45 cereal flakes. I cut the Cake for Mum and we have the Cake together on the Carpet. It’s reading time. I choose ‘Alice in Wonderland’ because Mum likes the story too. I always imagine myself as Alice and Mum as the Mad-Hatter while Old Nick as the Red Queen. When Mum finally ends the story, I ask Mum whether I can have Some. I get the left one and it’s milky.

‘Jack…’

‘Yes, Mum?’

‘Have you ever thought of going outside?’

‘Mum, let’s do our Physical Ed. Let’s play hide and seek.’

‘Jack, listen to me.’ Mum hold my arms and I stare at her two brown eyes intently. She meant it.

‘But you said the people outside are not real people. We are real people…and…and I don’t want to leave Room. I just want to be with you, Carpet, Plant and Snake. I’m scared of outside…’

‘Forget what I’ve told you before. People outside are just like us.’

‘But those people in the television, they aren’t real. You said to me. How can people like us fit into the television.’ I am scared of Mum. She’s not the same Mum that I used to know. I began to fidget.

‘The people outside are just like us. There are boys and girls…Jack, come here.’ Mum lifts me to see through the wire gauze. ‘Look at that. That’s moon. It’s round.’

‘And it looks like Cheshire cat’s beaming smile.’

‘And the moon is real. Jack, I have mother and father and even a big brother, Shane.’

‘So what happens to them? Why aren’t you meeting them?’ Mum turns serious again and I can see that warm tears starting to damp her face. She pats her cheeks quickly to erase the tears.

‘Owh, they’re still living…Jack, I used to be a school girl and I have this device that can play thousands of songs like the mp3. I was walking from the school and wait for your Uncle Shane to pick me up. Then Old Nick…’

‘Grrrr…I’ll protect you.’

‘Hehehe…you can’t. You weren’t there when it all happen. Old Nick was a janitor at my school. He was a strange man and he rarely talks to anyone. So that day…’ Mum stops and sobs. I hug her. She collects herself together and uses all her might to continue. ‘He asked me to help his dog because he said his dog’s sick. I was so foolish and blindly followed him to his trunk. He hit my head and here I am with you.’

‘With mighty Jack.’ I smile but Mum’s face fade into misery. She’s awfully devastated. I am devastated too. ‘Mum, you promised me that we’re going to have our Home Ed for the birthday boy.’ I try my luck by distracting her from whatever she’s thinking and looks like it is not working.

‘Let’s just see what Old Nick got for you as present.’

I tear open the present which is wrapped with brown paper. I get a present and how I am excited. What is it? What is it? My mind keeps bugging me with the same question. Maybe it’s Dora. Nah, it can’t be.

In front of me amidst the wrapper is a yellow remote control Truck. The Truck will follow 

what the Remote says. If the Remote says left, then the Truck will turn left. I want to play with Truck and Remote all day but Mum says that it may drain the battery. In the end, I just play with Truck and Remote for one hour before turning them off. My great yellow Truck zooms and passes everything in the Room as fast as lightning. No one can catch it. Not even Snake or Swiping Swiper. I take Truck with me when I go to bath with Mum but she doesn’t allow me to. I ask her why and she says that water might damage Truck. I think what she means is that the Truck might drown like what I saw on the television. So I set Truck and Remote on the shelf near to Mum’s pills.

Mum’s sob breaks the silence.

‘Mum, don’t cry. I will not be a bad Jack,’ I plead her and shake her body.

‘Jack, you need to help me. You have to be brave. This will never work if you be a coward Jack.’

‘Anything, Mum.’